it's been a while.

today has been the worst day ever.
i've never cried so much in school in my entire life.
i mean like, i cried for the first 5 periods straight, pretty much.
and it doesn't help that it rained throughout the whole night, ruining the hoodwink festival, which alone, left much to be desired.

but anyways, school has basically been taking over my life. i have no time for anything anymore.
i feel like everywhere i turn, it's "college this," and "college that," and "do your apps now!" and "your SAT scores aren't high enough!" ... frankly, it's getting on my last nerve, and i'd love for my senior year of high school to never come so i don't be to be burdened with college.
then on the other hand, it all seems totally fantastic and exciting ... in the event that i get into the school i want to go to.
i've bee seriously looking into eugene lang and the 5 year BA/BFA program with either parsons or the new school for jazz and contemporary music. it basically sounds like a dream.
i spent a half hour at the lang booth at the college fair this week, and i swear, the school had my name written all over it.

i'm currently in the middle of choosing courses for my senior year.
none of the classes caught my eye, and i can't decide what AP's to take.
i have a feeling that school will be a drag next year.
all of my favorite teachers are getting fired.
it's already a disaster.
oh, and i lost the election ... i'm not the new vice president of my school.

it's supposed to rain this weekend.
i'm going to bamboozle ... the lineup is less exciting than previous years, but i figure, i might as well.

i wrote a poem the other day based on what i saw on the way to the museum of natural history ... it's called tulips:

Two old women,
I’ll assume age sixty-five,
Standing among a bed of tulips,
Gazing at them as if
The orange bells were foreign;
Engrossed in the beauty we take
For granted.

The constant
Snap-snap-flash
Of those
Dated, digital, devices.

Never stopping,
If only to find another flower
More vibrant,
More orange,
More worthy,
Of the precious space
On their memory cards.